I have written about this before but have been talking to so many people lately, especially women and mothers, who are dying for some time for themselves. They say they don’t have time in between caring for their children, taking care of the house and many of us are working too. But is we don’t do it we end up feeling lost, invisible, our sense of self worth can go down and we are just plain unhappy. Now I am not saying that men and fathers don’t need time for them as well, I am just noticing that women are seriously lacking it! And it is not just women with families that are depleted. We are naturally givers so women with boyfriends, friends, co-workers, etc. are also lacking this.
I know, many of us feel guilty when we take a little time for ourselves or feel like the house will come falling down. Well here’s a newsflash for you ladies, your household and your children will go on without you, whether you are there or not. And if you are a few minutes late, or get held up, nothing bad will happen. Everyone will survive. So don’t feel guilty, enjoy your time because you and your family are going to be so much better for it when you do return.
I know it is challenging to do this at times. I get every second weekend to myself when the kids go to their Dad’s, but sometimes I feel like I am just dying by the time Friday night comes. I love my children, but I have felt pulled in so many different directions and attended to so many needs I am just depleted.
The key is to take time every day for you. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy but time just for you. And be strict about it. If you’re taking it at a time when other family members are up and may be looking for your attention, tell them you are going to do X and to not disturb you. And just do it.
“But I am so busy! I don’t have time to add one more thing.”Just take 5 minutes for you each day. Start by making a list of things you love to do – go for coffee, take a walk, chat with a friend, write, take a bubble bath, etc. Write down everything you can think of and then start doing these things one a day. If reading is a love, take 5 minutes before you shut off the light at night and read. Or write down 3 things that you are grateful for before you go to sleep – this is time for you, time that you reflect.
Sometimes I put on a webinar to listen to while I am doing something else. I consider this time for me. Even I may be making dinner or cleaning I am still doing something that I enjoy and will benefit from. And I have added no extra time or thing to do in my day.
As you do more and more each day and it becomes a habit, you will start to find another 5 minutes somewhere else in your day to do something for you. And then another 5 and another, and eventually you will find that taking time for you is doable and you love it! You’ll feel happier, more confident, sexier and more alive!
Taking 5 minutes here and there throughout the day will sustain you and keep you balanced. It will get you through until a time when you can take a longer period of time for yourself, like a retreat weekend or a spa getaway. It will keep you from feeling completely depleted and dying for some me time. For me, if I get a chance to write during my day, this feeds my soul and I am exhilarated. I then find I can tackle anything that comes along. It doesn’t matter if I finished what I was writing or not, it is just a matter of doing something that I love!
It is not hard to do. You just have to start. Cause like I said I just see so many of us women dying, disappearing and yearning for something for them. And we need to take it! Not only is it good for us and our self confidence but it improves our relationships. We are happier so so is everyone else. You know the saying when “Mamma Bear is unhappy no one is happy”. It’s true.
So go start by making your list of all the things that you love and take 5 minutes for yourself today! and everyday after this.
Looking for some ideas or inspiration? Here are some things that I love to do and can do in a short time
- read a good book
- go for a walk
- take an epsom salt bath (add your favorite essential oils)
- write/ journal
- enjoy a cup of coffee
- listen to a webinar
For more ideas check out my other posts on taking time for you