Matthew, age 9

I was surprised the other day to learn that I am not failing as a parent. I am sure you can all relate with the many joys and challenges of having children, that there are times when we are doing what we feel is best for them, and is the best we can do for them, yet we are met with opposition, fights and many “you are mean” comments.

I have been feeling this way with the dietary choices in our house. Luke and Chloe don’t know any differently because no sugar and no dairy is what they have always had. I never had to take them off it, or take it away because when they joined our family we were already there. But for Matthew this has been a challenge.

Chloe and Luke, 1 week old

Though I have done my best to provide alternatives for him that he can have and things that other kids around him are having, he still challenges me a lot on the no sugar thing especially. Often when we go grocery shopping he informs me when he is 18 he is going to come to the store and buy all kinds of sweets and candy and then eat it all. I know if he does that he will be soooo sick (my hope is that by that time he has fully come to accept and recognize that living sugar free is really a good thing for him and won’t end up doing it).

He complains at home, cries in anger and frustration and I am often called mean for doing this to him. Yet there are days when he is very rational and accepting about it all and talks about how it does affect him and what it does to his body. But it seems like days like this are not very frequent.

I get it, I understand. We live in a world where sugar is everywhere and in everything. He is surrounded by it at school, other kids, even other adults and he feels denied, different and like he is missing out on something really good. I don’t imagine it is easy. But I have been trying to teach him the benefits of living this way and the difference it makes not only in his life but in our family’s.

Like I said the other day I learned that I was getting through, that all my efforts were making a difference. Matthew has his own blog on which he posts all kinds of things, usually work/ reports he has completed at school about science, wetlands, etc. He really enjoys writing and posting and does so everyday. This week he put up 2 posts that surprised me. One was about sugar and it’s negative effects, how it affected him and why people should avoid it. He also did one that was similar about dairy.

I was so proud of him 🙂 When he came home from school that day that was the first thing I told him too. Not only does it make me feel like I am not banging my head against a brick wall, but that he does believe and recognize the reasons why we have eliminated sugar and dairy in our diets. Enough that he has chosen to share his knowledge and experience with the world.

He grinned from ear to ear when I told him how proud I was of him. I also told him this is how we change the world. We share and stand up for what we believe in and others may choose to take that stand with us. For a 9 year old to tell others that sugar is not good for us and that we should avoid it, amazed me. It affirmed that he was listening, he was understanding and he was ok with it all afterall.

I know there will still be days when he’ll argue with me about this, but I know in my heart of hearts that he is there with me and that I need to keep supporting him in this choice.

As a parent, we all have times when we really wonder if what we are doing is the right thing or if we are getting through to our children. It is moments/ discoveries like this that help me to know that I am – and it makes it all worthwhile.