Love makes the world go round, love is a many splendid thing, all you need is love. Love is the foundation of our human existence and the essence of how we relate to each other to create and sustain our world. Yet so many of us are distant from our loved ones, lost or alone, wondering how to create the love we need and connect with those we care about in a loving and successful way.
Everyone has their own way of giving and receiving love. The challenge is, if we are not able to identify what a loved one’s ‘way’ is, we do not know the best way to communicate love to them in a way that they get. Therefore we may be pouring out our hearts per se, and our partner’s/ loved ones are just not getting it. As a result they may feel unloved, though we love them very much.
Dr. Gary Chapman through his books, The Five Love Languages and The Five Love Languages of Children teaches us how to figure out what our loved one’s love languages are, so that we can have more successful and happy relationships in our lives, whether it be with our spouses, children or other people we care about.
The challenge is, your love language, may not be the same as your partner or children, therefore there may be some learning in how to speak your significant others love languages.
In his books, Gary outlines very clearly what each of the love languages are, examples of them in everyday life and ideas and suggestions on how to speak them to others. He describes that though there are 5 main love languages, we all have one primary love language (one that we prefer above all others) and that there are many dialects or ways to speak that love language to another person. Physical touch, for example is one of the love languages, but this does not always mean one kind of touch. For partners it will likely include sex but also involves other kinds of physical intimacy such as holding hands, kisses, foot massage, a soft brush across the cheek, etc. For children, this could mean hugs, kisses, a pat on the back, play wrestling.
The books are well laid out and easy to follow, with an introduction on how to make best use of the books and lots of examples throughout. The books also include a quiz or ‘game’ at the end, each designed for children and adults appropriately to help you figure out what other love languages are (which I found extremely helpful with my oldest son!)
I also found the additional sections in The 5 Love Languages of Children like how to use a child’s love language for discipline and in single parent families to be very interesting and extremely helpful. The discipline aspect is not something that I would have thought of, but after learning how to use it effectively with my children, it makes perfect sense! And truly creates more harmony and easier disciplining in my house.
I had read Dr. Chapman’s original The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts book many years ago and found it fascinating and a concept that really worked. I have applied it in my experiences with loved ones and have watched the magic happen, how the closeness I was looking for appear simply by communicating love to them in a way that they understood. And I know that when people speak my primary love language of Quality time, I definitely feel loved by them!
So go home tonight, grab a copy of The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts or The 5 Love Languages of Children and start reading and applying these concepts in your life. Not only will you find out a little about yourself you may not have been aware of, but you will learn to create more love in your life, more happiness, and you will be surprised at how absolutely easy it is!
No one can receive too much appropriate unconditional love. I think you’ll agree we’d all like a little more love in our lives and to feel more loved by others, and Dr. Chapman’s books give us easy, simple tools to do just that!
Books have been provided courtesy of Northfield Publishers and Graf-Martin Communications, Inc. Available at your favorite bookseller.
