The Importance of Taking Time for Yourself

Posted on January 12, 2014 by Carmen

Taking time for ourselves is one of the most vital things we can do to thrive in this life, apart from food and water of course. Yet so many of us don’t do it for one reason or another.

I have written about this before but have been talking to so many people lately, especially women and mothers, who are dying for some time for themselves. They say they don’t have time in between caring for their children, taking care of the house and many of us are working too. But is we don’t do it we end up feeling lost, invisible, our sense of self worth can go down and we are just plain unhappy. Now I am not saying that men and fathers don’t need time for them as well, I am just noticing that women are seriously lacking it! And it is not just women with families that are depleted. We are naturally givers so women with boyfriends, friends, co-workers, etc. are also lacking this.

I know, many of us feel guilty when we take a little time for ourselves or feel like the house will come falling down. Well here’s a newsflash for you ladies, your household and your children will go on without you, whether you are there or not. And if you are a few minutes late, or get held up, nothing bad will happen. Everyone will survive. So don’t feel guilty, enjoy your time because you and your family are going to be so much better for it when you do return.

I know it is challenging to do this at times. I get every second weekend to myself when the kids go to their Dad’s, but sometimes I feel like I am just dying by the time Friday night comes. I love my children, but I have felt pulled in so many different directions and attended to so many needs I am just depleted.

The key is to take time every day for you. It doesn’t have to be long or fancy but time just for you. And be strict about it. If you’re taking it at a time when other family members are up and may be looking for your attention, tell them you are going to do X and to not disturb you. And just do it.

“But I am so busy! I don’t have time to add one more thing.”Just take 5 minutes for you each day. Start by making a list of things you love to do – go for coffee, take a walk, chat with a friend, write, take a bubble bath, etc. Write down everything you can think of and then start doing these things one a day. If reading is a love, take 5 minutes before you shut off the light at night and read. Or write down 3 things that you are grateful for before you go to sleep – this is time for you, time that you reflect.

Sometimes I put on a webinar to listen to while I am doing something else. I consider this time for me. Even I may be making dinner or cleaning I am still doing something that I enjoy and will benefit from. And I have added no extra time or thing to do in my day.

As you do more and more each day and it becomes a habit, you will start to find another 5 minutes somewhere else in your day to do something for you. And then another 5 and another, and eventually you will find that taking time for you is doable and you love it! You’ll feel happier, more confident, sexier and more alive!

Taking 5 minutes here and there throughout the day will sustain you and keep you balanced. It will get you through until a time when you can take a longer period of time for yourself, like a retreat weekend or a spa getaway. It will keep you from feeling completely depleted and dying for some me time. For me, if I get a chance to write during my day, this feeds my soul and I am exhilarated. I then find I can tackle anything that comes along. It doesn’t matter if I finished what I was writing or not, it is just a matter of doing something that I love!

It is not hard to do. You just have to start. Cause like I said I just see so many of us women dying, disappearing and yearning for something for them. And we need to take it! Not only is it good for us and our self confidence but it improves our relationships. We are happier so so is everyone else. You know the saying when “Mamma Bear is unhappy no one is happy”. It’s true.

So go start by making your list of all the things that you love and take 5 minutes for yourself today! and everyday after this.

Looking for some ideas or inspiration? Here are some things that I love to do and can do in a short time

read a good book
go for a walk
take an epsom salt bath (add your favorite essential oils)
write/ journal
enjoy a cup of coffee
listen to a webinar
garden
meditate

For more ideas check out my other posts on taking time for you

5 Minutes for Mom

How to take time for yourself

The Ultimate Blog Party

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Carmen

Welcome! I am very excited to be joining the Ultimate Blog Party 2013 for the first time this year! I think this is a great opportunity to get out there and connect with other bloggers while sharing the things that you love, including your own blog! Thank you to Janice and Susan of 5 Minutes for Mom for hosting this fabulous event.

If you are new to Momma on the Move I’d like to thank you for stopping by and for those of you who are returning welcome back. It is a pleasure to have you all here.

My name is Carmen and I have 3 beautiful children, 3 year old boy/ girl twins and an older son. I grew up on the East Coast and have a deep love for the ocean. I love the outdoors, to travel, explore new places and to get out there and enjoy and embrace life!

Luke and Chloe

Things are very busy at our house with the kids daily activities and the dietary choices we have made. We have gone sugar and dairy free at our house due to allergies and intolerances and though I have found the no dairy to be easy, going sugar free was honestly, a nightmare! Sugar is in everything! But it can be done and now I am very comfortable with making the right natural substitutions and believe that our overall health is better for it.

Matthew

I started blogging because I love to write, share stories and help people. I find that there are so many things to share and explore, as life is a story. My oldest son said to me one day when we were out “Mom you like to take a lot of pictures.” I looked at him and smiled and said, “Matthew, everything is a blog post.” Which it is! Everywhere we go and everything we do can translate into a helpful blog piece for my audience. Whether it be our adventures at Heritage Park, traveling through BC or new sugar/ dairy free recipes that I have found, it is all a possible post to share.

I tend to write about parenting topics, how to take time for yourself, kids activities and crafts as well as recipes. It’s fun! I love it and I love to share with everyone what I know.

I like creating a community where we can share, interact and learn from each other. Plus it’s stretched me in the world of technology as well!

Now that you’re here, sit down grab a cup of coffee and take a look around. Let me know what your favorite posts are, what you’d like to see more of. Leave a comment sharing with me who you are and where I can find you so we can connect and get to know each other. I’m looking forward to visiting everyone’s sites and making new friends.

Here are some of my favorite posts:

Firewalking

Christmas Carol Challenge

Luke and Chloe’s First Trip to the Dentist

Natural Sugar Substitutes

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cereal Squares

Enjoy! See you at the party!

Let’s stay connected! Here’s where you can find me

Facebook

Twitter

How to Take Time for Yourself (even with the kids at home this Summer)

Posted on August 2, 2012 by Carmen

Summer is a busy time with the kids at home, activities and outings, camping, hiking, vacations and road trips. You are going from one place to the next getting in as much as you can in our short season. (Well I do, I like to pack it all in in about 8 weeks as I know we only have so much time to do all the things we love. And you have to take advantage of the warm and sunny days cause you never know when the rain is going to come and sock you in for a few days and the temperature drops)

The problem is still taking time for yourself with all this increased activity and time with the kids at home. We all know how important it is for Mom (or Dad) to take time for ourselves. A happy parent equals a happy family. We are better able to manage our day, handle challenges and stress and just enjoy life more!

So here are some tips and things that I do so that I get ‘my time’ throughout the day and am still present and ready for my children.

Get up half an hour early, before the kids do and do something for yourself. You might argue that you need your sleep but trust me this is worth it. Do whatever feeds your spirit, whether it be a quiet cup of coffee or tea, meditate, yoga, stretching, something that you enjoy and puts you in a peaceful, calm and happy mind state.

Have quiet time after lunch My little ones still nap so I get a 2 hour window in the afternoon to do what I want; but with my older son home from school that changes. I know you’re saying my kids don’t nap at all! What we have done is set up quiet time after lunch for 30 minutes. All the children go to their rooms at the same time and do a quiet activity such as reading, drawing, etc. The babies still nap so they go to sleep but this works well with Matthew; and I will continue to do it once the babies no longer nap. Then you have time to yourself to do something for you, without the kids, and is a nice break for everyone during the day.

Make a cup of tea, coffee, lemonade, etc. You notice that the kids are playing nicely, take that 5 or 10 minutes and sit down and enjoy your favorite drink. I often find that having just those few minutes is a great way to recharge.

Breathe I am sure you have heard this one before, a few deep breaths can do a world of wonders and I mean in through the nose and out through the mouth, filling up and expanding the stomach. You don’t need a block of time to do this, you can do it on the spot, kids or not for just a few minutes.

Set up some scheduled breaks Whether it be a playdate or you hire a babysitter, this provides the opportunity to take a break and do what you would like for a bit. Whether it be to go for coffee with a friend or by yourself, a massage, a little shopping. You can even take advantage of registering your child(ren) in a day camp program. This will not only provide a break for you but some variety for the kids.

I have found the key is purposely scheduling some time for you, while making sure that the kids are occupied and safe. If I do not schedule time during my day I find I get to the end of the day and am just exhausted. Once you have the time it is easy to find things to do! and even short breaks can make a world of difference.

The important thing is to do things that truly feed your spirit and rejuvenate you, don’t use that time to do housework or prepare dinner! Things like going outside, even if just in the backyard if you can’t leave the house, go for a walk, a massage, coffee, read or even an uninterrupted phone conversation with a friend! You know what feeds you best, do it and everyone will be better off for it.

Mommy Time – Firewalking

Posted on July 24, 2012 by Carmen

Doing a firewalk is a fascinating and empowering experience. It is like nothing I had ever imagined. I had seen it done on tv and in movies, heard about it being done in various parts of the world, but always associated it with exotic places and ceremonies; and that you had to be ‘trained’ to do so. I did not think that I could do it.

Last weekend I was attending a retreat at Quantum Leaps Lodge in Golden, BC, where one of the evening activities was a firewalk. It was optional and other people who were not from the retreat attended. One of the reasons I attended this particular retreat was specifically for the firewalk; for some reason it appealed to me, called to me. I had never thought of doing something like that before, but once I knew it was possible I felt like it was something that I had to do.

Quantum Leaps Lodge

A firewalk is a very symbolic ceremony and event where you learn to face your fears, manage energy and perfect the art of mind over matter. How focus and support can enable you to do anything. It is a place where you identify, face and bust through the things that are holding you back. The things that you believe are stopping you from getting what you want and living the life of your dreams.

Building the fire

You come together with a group of strangers and very quickly develop a sense of support and cohesion, an environment where it is safe to feel vunerable, safe to share your fears and experience the love of support of others to get you through.

I found that within a very short time, people were supporting and encouraging others, whether it be physically with hugs or just standing beside them, but with positive energy and intent. Everyone wanted everyone to be successful.

The evening comprised of a variety of activities to prepare everyone for the final event of firewalking; and to create the group cohesion that existed. There were a couple of tasks to complete which helped everyone get their mind around what they were doing and to help us get into the right mindset. There was also great ceremony and events around the building of the fire, and sharing the space.

I do not want to divulge too much detail about the evening as I feel that it is an event that one needs to experience for themselves and by telling you what you do and what to expect, can set you up for creating barriers before you even get there. It is important for you to go with no expectations, an open heart and mind and a smile.

Did I do it? Of course I did. I walked across the hot coals twice – not even noticing the heat, no burns and with ease. I also felt a sense of love and support with these people I had come to do this with that I have never experienced before, at least not one that was created so quickly. It was a truly amazing experience.

And now whenever I am faced with a challenge or feeling stressed I just say to myself, “Well I have walked on fire, I can handle this.”

Welcome to Momma on the Move!

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Carmen

Welcome to Momma on the Move, a parenting blog written about the joys and challenges of parenting 3 young children in a world full of adventure and change.

This light hearted, witty, yet informative blog on the joys and adventures of parenting twin babies and an older child is full of tips and tricks that will help you to appreciate and manage the challenges of being a parent. My hope is that this will help you find the light heartedness in each situation and challenge, which will aid you in managing every day with ease and a smile. As well as to appreciate the positives of parenting and see the joy and the gift in each situation.

I am a mother of 3 children, Matthew, 9 and Luke and Chloe my 2 year old twins. Adjusting from one child to 3, was not hard but I discovered it has made things very busy! Through trial and error I’ve discovered tricks and tips in parenting twins, equipment must haves and survival tactics for managing a busy household. I love to write and in addition to my blog, freelance and have published in Today’s Parent, Angels on Earth and Suite101.com. I am also a regular contributor to Calgary’s Child of Calgary, Alberta where I live with my family.

I love the outdoors, camping, travel, reading and adventure and greatly enjoy spending time and sharing these passions with my children.

Over the past year we have made a number of dietary changes in our family due to allergies, intolerances and some personal choice. I have become well versed in being able to eat dairy and sugar free (and what the workable alternatives are), while still being able to enjoy the foods that we love, like cookies, pancakes and macaroni and cheese! I have been dabbling in some gluten free choices as well but this is still fairly new to us.

In this blog I will cover a variety of topics including

“Mommy Time”- taking time for yourself, how to fit it in and some of the unique “Mommy Time” experiences I have

Healthy Kids/ Family Nutrition -tips on eating well, exercise and play, ways to get the kids to eat those vegetables, tips and substitutes for sugar free and dairy free eating

Activities and Games for kids -inside and outside, in the car and on the way to the park

Sugar free/ dairy free recipes- ones that are tried, tested and true! That I have personally made, recommend and are favorites in our house

Events/ Special Occasions/ Milestones

Guest Bloggers – other bloggers/ experts in the above topics

As well as lighthearted stories to help us all relate to being parents; the trials and challenges, the joys and successes and the steps we take to get there; not only to laugh at our experiences and find the gifts in them but to create a sense of community where we don’t feel so alone. Where you hear yourself saying, “Oh her son does that too! Good I am not crazy!”

So welcome, read and enjoy, comment, ask questions. I am here to share with you what I have learned and experienced and hope that you find it helpful in some way, if only to make you smile.