Wordless Wednesday

Posted on February 21, 2013 by Carmen

I am branching out today and am participating in Wordless Wednesday, an event hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom, to help promote and connect with other bloggers. You simply put up a picture on your blog and link it to their site. Then you go and visit/ check out other people’s photos.

This is a great opportunity to check out new blogs, meet new people and expand your connections in the blogosphere! It also helps new people find your site in a fun and interesting way.

So here is my photo for this week. Share your thoughts on this photo by commenting below and be sure to go check out the other pictures as well. Enjoy and Happy Wednesday!

The Healing Power of Reiki

Posted on February 6, 2013 by Carmen

On my continuous journey for growth and learning I recently took a Reiki Level I class. Having heard of this modality before I was not really sure what it was exactly, though I was familiar with the term and had had received some Reiki treatments before myself.

I decided to take the level I as I felt that this was the next step for me in my spiritual work, having already taken classes with Sonia Choquette, and becoming a Certified Angel Therapist® with Doreen Virtue. I also felt that for myself this was the next thing that I needed to do, as I understood that in taking the class I would continue and experience my own healing – even if I wasn’t conscious of what healing I needed.

I also took it as an opportunity to expand my spiritual circle of friends and colleagues, joining other like minded spirits in our journey. I also considered it some time for me and an opportunity to work on myself.

According to the International Training Center for Reiki, Reiki is “a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. It is administered by “laying on hands” and is based on the idea that an unseen “life force energy” flows through us and is what causes us to be alive. If one’s “life force energy” is low, then we are more likely to get sick or feel stress, and if it is high, we are more capable of being happy and healthy.”

Reiki treats the whole body including the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies. It is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use.

Not really sure what to expect in the class, though confident that it would be a positive experience, I learned that Reiki is a very simple technique that once you are attuned to it, passed on by a Reiki Master, it is very easy to do. It is calming, relaxing and peaceful. Reiki can never cause harm because you are channeling source energy and it will always go to and treat the area that needs it most. This does not mean that the client will experience complete relief after one treatment, depending on the ailment, but will definitely experience positive results.

The Chakras

One “side effect” of taking the course is that you go through a 21 day cleanse of the 7 chakras, one chakra a day, 3 times. Depending where you are in your life and what you have to move out, this may not be a very fun experience. In fact, though glad I have taken the course and plan to take level 2, and I know I will be better in a better place once the 21 days are completed; there are days in this cycle that I am definitely not enjoying and finding it challenging to ‘cleanse’ and still manage my everyday life. It would be nice to take a 21 day vacation after completing the course!

Reiki benefits everybody, whether you are the recipient or the practitioner, and has been shown to improve people’s lives and/ or medical conditions when used in conjunction with traditional medical practices. There is no downside to having Reiki. My suggestion is to go experience a Reiki session and see what the benefits are for you, as it is different for every individual. At the very least you will have a very relaxing and pleasant experience and I think we could all use a little more of that in our lives!

Have you ever had a Reiki session before?

5 Minutes for Mom

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Carmen

Chloe, Luke and Matthew

Being a Mom has many duties, demands and challenges, but it also brings us many benefits, rewards and love. My heart just melts when the kids are playing and all of a sudden I turn around and Luke is standing there, he looks at me and says “Mommy I want to give you a hug”, he does and then he resumes playing.

Becoming a parent is job that we sign up for for life, once we are in we can’t decide to quit and look for another, take a vacation or check out. We are there forever, no matter what. But no matter what, we as Moms (parents) need to take care of ourselves so that we can be the best we can for our families. If we are not happy then the family isn’t happy.

I agree sometimes it can be challenging to even find 5 minutes for ourselves, but I have found that with a little creativity, it is easy to do and those little 5 minute breaks, help make the day easy, happy and flowing.

It’s easy to incorporate these into your day (and many of them you can do with the kids so not only do you take care of you, you can do it easily while also engaging the kids)

Breathe – yes we breathe all the time but how often do we stop and take a really deep breath, one that fills the lungs. Deep breathing does wonders for our body and brings us back to a relaxed state. Stop, breathe in for the count of 4 and then release for the count of 4, do this 3 times and you’ll find yourself in a very peaceful state. Even better add a drop of energizing essential oil like peppermint or wild orange in your hands and cup them over your nose breathing in deeply. Doing this will instantly provide you with a natural pick me up.
Dance – moving our body is key to keeping things flowing. Dancing uses your entire body, put on your favorite music and dance away! You can easily do this with the kids but be warned they’ll probably want another song when the first one is done 🙂
Go outside – fresh air does wonders for us. Whether you go for a quick walk, are gardening (getting your hands in the dirt), or you stand out in the backyard for 5 minutes, the fresh air is a great way to regenerate and de-stress. Take a deep breath while you’re out there or do a grounding activity imagining you’re a tree with large roots going deep into the ground (this one especially is fun to do with the kids as they love to imagine and be creative)
Chat with a friend -just expressing ourselves or touching base with another person can brighten our day. A listening ear always helps or just makes us feel better.
Smile -this is so simple but makes such a difference in how you feel. You use more energy when you frown, and if you smile the people around you will smile too. It’s contagious!

Of course it is important to also schedule some longer periods of time for ourselves, without the kids, such as going for a massage, bubble bath, coffee, hike or date with a friend; as we need these too to keep our spirits happy, to regenerate and de-stress and be the best we can be for everyone.

Tips for Creating Successful New Year’s Resolutions

Posted on January 7, 2013 by Carmen

New Year, new you right? It’s that time of year when many of us sit down and create resolutions, a list of things we’d like to achieve and create in the coming year. The fact is that statistics show that the majority of us ‘break’ our resolutions within the first month of the year. Not only do they advertise this it’s not really inspiring is it? So what’s the point?

I find in creating success around resolutions you have to take a different approach. The first one may be not to create them in January when the pressure’s on and everyone else is doing it. It’s stressful, everyone is comparing notes, asking what intentions you have set and why and then asking how you’re doing?

Second, we as human beings tend to set really large goals for ourselves. Breaking them down into small achievable goals will create success with ease and not make it so overwhelming.

So where do you start? You know you’d like to make some changes but how do you do that and be successful in doing it?

Here are some quick tips for creating successful New Year’s resolutions each year:

1.Don’t create them in January. When there is so much pressure to do so, instead just relax and take some time for yourself after the holiday rush. Taking that down time and the pressure off will ensure more success when you do set them up. Review the previous year and congratulate yourself on what you’ve done well. Then pick a time of year when it’s comfortable for you to create your goals. Maybe it’s February, might be Spring is the best time. YOU choose, don’t let society dictate.

2.Create goals instead of resolutions. Sometimes just changing what you are calling them is enough to make it stick. The ‘talk’ is that resolutions fail, but goals are usually quite successful.

3.Keep it simple. Create 1-3 goals and stick with those. Once you have achieved those or you are well on your way, add more if you like.

4.Break your goals down into small achievable steps. One of your goals may be to go to bed earlier – say 10 pm, right now you go at 11. Instead of jumping to 10 right away do it in 5 minute increments. 10:55 probably feels a lot more doable then going straight to 10. Do 10:55 for a few nights, when you’re feeling successful with that – back it up 5 more minutes and do that for a few nights. Doing this progressively in 5 minute increments until you reach your goal of 10 pm.

5.Write them down. The power of writing down your goals cannot be underestimated. It gives them more power and helps to make them real. You can also add in detail, which helps define and manifest your goal more quickly. Also your hands are a direct connection to your heart so it puts the power of love and intention behind them.

6.Take action. Pick 1 of your goals and take action towards it right away. One article I read recently suggested you use the 3 second rule. Once you have decided what you want, take an action step towards it. So if you decided you’d like to take that art class at the community center, get up and call to register.

It is also important to share your goals with someone who supports you. This will not only provide you with support but someone to encourage you if you hit a bump in the road and need a little ‘nudge’ to keep going.

There are other things too like keeping a journal or creating a vision board for your goals. These 2 activities are great to do with your kids, especially the vision board, as kids love cutting out pictures, gluing and drawing. Keep it simple for them and frame it in terms that they will understand. It could be as simple as what would you like to do this year (or where do you want to go?) and then get them to draw or create a picture/ vision board about it. It doesn’t matter if they say camping and you are already going, this helps them get in the mindset of creating, which they already do so well. If anything it supports what they can already do and helps them to maintain that ability.

Most important of all, whatever goals you set, have fun! All the best in 2020!

I encourage you to share here in the comments what some of your goals are, when you set them, and tools you used to achieve them. Sharing makes it real, and is a great way to gain support as well.

Date Night

Posted on November 5, 2012 by Carmen

On Friday night I stepped out of my comfort zone and expanded my horizons. I had no kids, no date and it being Friday night I decided to take myself out. I went up to the local coffee shop here in Bridlewood, Cafe Crema. They have live open mic music on Fridays and I wanted to check it out.

So I dressed myself up, put on make up, did my hair and out the door I went. Why not dress up for me, why not take myself out? Why should I hole up and stay in when there is a whole world out there? I cannot meet new people and make new friends and maybe even dates, if I stay in all the time. Yes I could have put on my pyjamas, picked up a nice movie and curled up on the couch waiting for maybe something exciting to happen but why? Life doesn’t happen to you while waiting on the couch, it passes you by, you miss it.

The crowd at Cafe Crema was ecclectic, a mix of young and old, well more actually like a lot of young and a few older couples. There were some very cute men there, sadly all with someone else 🙁 but I enjoyed looking at them. There was one fellow in particular, dark hair, gorgeous, way too young… There was even a couple there sitting on the side reading their books, while the musicians on stage sang their songs and played their tunes. I wondered how they could read while all this was going on but to each his own.

I grabbed my latte, sat down on the comfy couch and enjoyed the music. The first fellow was from Nova Scotia, where I grew up and it made me feel nostalgic for the east coast. The next fellow was young and missed a few verses in his songs but was entertaining to say the least (also nice to look at). The last couple, before I left, was a male and female pair who did mostly original songs, which were quite unique, melodic and even a bit out of tune, yet we were all still tapping our toes to the music.

There were more musicians after that but by that time I decided to take myself home. That short time out inspired me to come home and write to share my experience and tell everyone how empowering it is! Yes I have gone out on my own before to a movie or stopped for coffee, but not like this. Not on a Friday night where everyone is on dates or out with friends. It felt really good not to be sitting at home waiting for someone to call, to just go out and enjoy myself and be with others in the world, even if it was just simply sharing a coffee and listening to some music.

Now I don’t think that I would go out to the bar by myself as for some reason that does not seem like a good idea to me, but the coffee house was ok and it felt great! Besides like I said if I don’t get out how will I meet people? And you never know, maybe one night some nice single man will come in and notice me and we’ll strike up a conversation – you never know.

Being newly separated, it’s good for me to get out. It is also very important for me to take care of myself and know what that means for me. It’s ok to do things on my own, and we all need to, whether we are married or single. When we feed our spirits and expand our comfort zones, we grow, we learn and we become more attractive to others in general; because our eyes sparkle with excitement and fun, we’re happy and content with ourselves. And then we come home and are inspired to do other things, whatever that may be. It left me with a great buzz! and it was not from the coffee 🙂

Give Yourself Permission to Take a Break

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Carmen

Ever have one of those days when you really don’t feel like doing anything? Or at least not what you are supposed or need to be doing?

That was me this morning. After a long weekend of camping and relaxation I just found that I could not focus on my work this morning. I had many things that needed to be taken care of but try as I might I could not get motivated to do anything.

I tried the “well if I just do this one little thing then that will be the motivator that kicks it off. Then I’ll be able to easily dive into the rest”. Nope. Did a couple things, attempted another, nothing, nada. I even tried just sitting down and writing and seeing what came up, generated a few ideas and started working on one. Seriously no motivation, no desire, no drive. I could not focus to save my life.

Oh I wrote something, but is felt like a slog, a struggle and a real reach to develop ideas. In fact looking back at it, I cringe as it was definitely not my best work. I could tell that I was reaching.

What I really wanted to do was to go and clean out my front closet. For whatever reason the pull to do this was really strong, and though definitely not an emergency I was really feeling like I needed to do it right now! But I said to myself, no I need to get some work done and a few things taken care of. So I plowed on…

After about an hour of staring at my computer screen and coming up with what I felt was a lot of junk – I gave in. I went downstairs and cleaned the front closet – thoroughly. I remembered reading an article recently where the author was discussing something very similiar, when she felt unmotivated to do things and really wanted to do something else, she did. After a long struggle with herself she finally gave herself permission to go and watch that movie for 2 hours, or read her book. She found that in doing so, she was then able to come back to her work and do it more effectively, efficiently and well.

And I have to agree. Often when I don’t feel like doing what needs to be done, if I stop and do what I really want for a bit then I come back clear, refreshed and motivated. It takes me less time to complete the task and I am much happier while doing it!

I cleared and cleaned out the closet like mad, organizing, wiping things down and washing the floor. As I did so I started to feel better, ideas started to come to me, focus and motivation too. It was like a cleansing and clearing of sorts, not only of the physical closet but for me. The movement allowed me to clear my own energy and whatever blocks it was that I was struggling with. It allowed me to be where I was and in embracing and accepting it I was able to move through it more quickly. If I had stayed at my computer and ‘pushed through’, I can only imagine that I would have been staring at it for another hour feeling even more frustrated that I hadn’t accomplished anything.

When I was done I felt good, I felt ready. I had done what I needed to do and I now felt some motivation, flow and ability to focus. So the next time I am feeling unable to focus and not motivated, I am going to give myself permission to take a break. Go do the thing that is calling to me without feeling guilty, because that is what my body, soul, spirit needs to do right then. It will feed my spirit and lift me up. It will allow me to release or move through whatever it is that is blocking me. It will allow me to be.

I realize there may be times where circumstances may dictate that this is not possible, but I will as much as possible. Cause really when you are struggling through, are you really getting anywhere? It takes you twice as long and you are often tired and frustrated afterwards. I have been told that f you are struggling you are going against the flow (of life) and you should turn your boat around.

So next time you are struggling or feeling a lack of motivation, give yourself permission to take a break. It’s ok. You’ll benefit highly in the end.

Time to Clear My Head – Go for a Run

Posted on August 20, 2012 by Carmen

I really enjoy running. I never used to, I used to think it was chore, hard, pushing through and keeping it in my routine only to add variety to my exercise.

I have run all my life, though not always enjoyed it. I ran when I was little, likely because my Dad and Mum did. We would go out running together or to the indoor track, it was more of a family time for me than exercise, but I was 10.

It wasn’t until I got older, around university that I started to feel running was a chore. I would do it, as it was an easy way to exercise, but I did it begrudgingly. Until recently, for some reason all of a sudden I really enjoy running and do so now 2 or 3 times a week.

Chariot stroller

I think it is the convenience of just getting up and going out the door that started me running again and there are many benefits. Other than the health benefits, such as stress relief and disease prevention; I find running is a great way to get out and have some time for myself. I can do it at any time of day, anywhere and all I need is a pair of running shoes and shorts. I even take the kids with me, as I have a Chariot running stroller. Even when Matthew is at home he comes along, either riding his bike or scooter (I have suggested he run with me but he hasn’t bit yet).

You might think that running with the kids is not really a break for me, but it truly is. They are all occupied and safe, quiet, and all I have to do is push the stroller along and get lost in my own thoughts as I do my route around the neighborhood. In fact, when I first started running again I liked having the stroller to push as it provided great balance for my arms.

I love the feel of the wind on my face as I cruise along, the steady rhythm, feet pounding the pavement. I am aware of my surroundings yet lost in my own thoughts, able to process things and work things out. It’s a great way to clear my mind and let the ideas flow. When I am stuck or feel bogged down, a run clears it all away and then I can focus again. Sure getting outside and a change of scene always help too, but there is just something about the movement of running that is quite satisfying.

Along the road Oliver, BC

While we were away on vacation last week I actually got a treat and got to run by myself, not once, but 3 times. Though I do find going with the kids is still a form of time for me, going without was even more so! In Oliver, BCwhere we were visiting my parents, I would get up and go first thing in the morning to beat the heat, because if you waited it got very hot. It was a great way to start the day, sunny blue skies, surrounded by the mountains. Morning greetings exchanged with all the seniors who were out for their morning walks as well, feeling elated and free. Just a few moments for myself, enjoying the sunshine and reveling in the beauty that surrounds me. How nice would it be to start each day like this?

Though I have not taken any running classes or programs, there are a variety of them out there that cater to all levels from beginner to advanced. Places like The Running Room and local running clubs offer programs and workshops. Clubs often provide other benefits like discounts or special prices for members, social activities and running clinics.

I would also highly recommend that if you are going to run that you invest in a good pair of running shoes. Go to a specialty shop like The Running Room, where there are staff who are knowledgable and can help fit you properly. I found that when I bought running shoes, it really made a difference in how I felt about running. It became a much more pleasant experience because I was properly supported and cushioned.

Running is not for everyone, but it certainly is convenient. And like I said I did not always love it. But now it meets my needs, provides some time for me, rounds out my work out routine (I also go to the gym 3 times a week) and provides some variety in my exercise, as that is important as well.

So if you’re up for it, give running a try. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’ll provide you some great benefits, if only the opportunity to get outside for a little while and clear your head!

How to Take Time for Yourself (even with the kids at home this Summer)

Posted on August 2, 2012 by Carmen

Summer is a busy time with the kids at home, activities and outings, camping, hiking, vacations and road trips. You are going from one place to the next getting in as much as you can in our short season. (Well I do, I like to pack it all in in about 8 weeks as I know we only have so much time to do all the things we love. And you have to take advantage of the warm and sunny days cause you never know when the rain is going to come and sock you in for a few days and the temperature drops)

The problem is still taking time for yourself with all this increased activity and time with the kids at home. We all know how important it is for Mom (or Dad) to take time for ourselves. A happy parent equals a happy family. We are better able to manage our day, handle challenges and stress and just enjoy life more!

So here are some tips and things that I do so that I get ‘my time’ throughout the day and am still present and ready for my children.

Get up half an hour early, before the kids do and do something for yourself. You might argue that you need your sleep but trust me this is worth it. Do whatever feeds your spirit, whether it be a quiet cup of coffee or tea, meditate, yoga, stretching, something that you enjoy and puts you in a peaceful, calm and happy mind state.

Have quiet time after lunch My little ones still nap so I get a 2 hour window in the afternoon to do what I want; but with my older son home from school that changes. I know you’re saying my kids don’t nap at all! What we have done is set up quiet time after lunch for 30 minutes. All the children go to their rooms at the same time and do a quiet activity such as reading, drawing, etc. The babies still nap so they go to sleep but this works well with Matthew; and I will continue to do it once the babies no longer nap. Then you have time to yourself to do something for you, without the kids, and is a nice break for everyone during the day.

Make a cup of tea, coffee, lemonade, etc. You notice that the kids are playing nicely, take that 5 or 10 minutes and sit down and enjoy your favorite drink. I often find that having just those few minutes is a great way to recharge.

Breathe I am sure you have heard this one before, a few deep breaths can do a world of wonders and I mean in through the nose and out through the mouth, filling up and expanding the stomach. You don’t need a block of time to do this, you can do it on the spot, kids or not for just a few minutes.

Set up some scheduled breaks Whether it be a playdate or you hire a babysitter, this provides the opportunity to take a break and do what you would like for a bit. Whether it be to go for coffee with a friend or by yourself, a massage, a little shopping. You can even take advantage of registering your child(ren) in a day camp program. This will not only provide a break for you but some variety for the kids.

I have found the key is purposely scheduling some time for you, while making sure that the kids are occupied and safe. If I do not schedule time during my day I find I get to the end of the day and am just exhausted. Once you have the time it is easy to find things to do! and even short breaks can make a world of difference.

The important thing is to do things that truly feed your spirit and rejuvenate you, don’t use that time to do housework or prepare dinner! Things like going outside, even if just in the backyard if you can’t leave the house, go for a walk, a massage, coffee, read or even an uninterrupted phone conversation with a friend! You know what feeds you best, do it and everyone will be better off for it.

Mommy Time – Firewalking

Posted on July 24, 2012 by Carmen

Doing a firewalk is a fascinating and empowering experience. It is like nothing I had ever imagined. I had seen it done on tv and in movies, heard about it being done in various parts of the world, but always associated it with exotic places and ceremonies; and that you had to be ‘trained’ to do so. I did not think that I could do it.

Last weekend I was attending a retreat at Quantum Leaps Lodge in Golden, BC, where one of the evening activities was a firewalk. It was optional and other people who were not from the retreat attended. One of the reasons I attended this particular retreat was specifically for the firewalk; for some reason it appealed to me, called to me. I had never thought of doing something like that before, but once I knew it was possible I felt like it was something that I had to do.

Quantum Leaps Lodge

A firewalk is a very symbolic ceremony and event where you learn to face your fears, manage energy and perfect the art of mind over matter. How focus and support can enable you to do anything. It is a place where you identify, face and bust through the things that are holding you back. The things that you believe are stopping you from getting what you want and living the life of your dreams.

Building the fire

You come together with a group of strangers and very quickly develop a sense of support and cohesion, an environment where it is safe to feel vunerable, safe to share your fears and experience the love of support of others to get you through.

I found that within a very short time, people were supporting and encouraging others, whether it be physically with hugs or just standing beside them, but with positive energy and intent. Everyone wanted everyone to be successful.

The evening comprised of a variety of activities to prepare everyone for the final event of firewalking; and to create the group cohesion that existed. There were a couple of tasks to complete which helped everyone get their mind around what they were doing and to help us get into the right mindset. There was also great ceremony and events around the building of the fire, and sharing the space.

I do not want to divulge too much detail about the evening as I feel that it is an event that one needs to experience for themselves and by telling you what you do and what to expect, can set you up for creating barriers before you even get there. It is important for you to go with no expectations, an open heart and mind and a smile.

Did I do it? Of course I did. I walked across the hot coals twice – not even noticing the heat, no burns and with ease. I also felt a sense of love and support with these people I had come to do this with that I have never experienced before, at least not one that was created so quickly. It was a truly amazing experience.

And now whenever I am faced with a challenge or feeling stressed I just say to myself, “Well I have walked on fire, I can handle this.”